No Reciprocation Necessary

Welcome to my essay corner, a collection of personal reflections and stories I can’t shake. These aren’t hot takes or diary entries, but curated thoughts about caregiving, queerness, family, grief and the odd beauty of being human. New posts land every other Tuesday (or close enough).

Read, relate, roll your eyes, but remember, no need to respond. -- No reciprocation necessary.

Entries are also shared on Substack

identity

Queer, tender, and figuring-it-out content about who we are, how we show up, and what labels can and can’t hold.

The Real Trick

From childhood magic boxes to Disneyland with Oliver: learning that the best magic is the kind you hand off.

caregiving

Oct 6

Love, Loss, & What I Wore

My IMLBB weekend, told through my clothes.

leather

Jun 4

Owning Where I Stand

Prepping for IMLBB: dropping the "right" answers and learning what it actually means to show up.

leather

May 18

The Intentional Shift

Building a foundation for the long haul...

identity

May 2

The Solo Addiction

The heavy lifting of a title year isn't the travel or the prep, it’s the effort required to not leave my real life behind.

identity

Mar 17

The Power of Invisibility

A reflection on invisibility during a leather title year...missing photos, quiet moments of being overlooked, and the slow work of learning when to step forward, take up space, and be seen on your own terms.

leather

Feb 2

Zero Proof

I spent years learning how to stay quiet, how to follow rules, how to survive without making waves. Somewhere between New York nights, wine-stained smiles, and a year of choosing differently, I learned that the version of myself I liked most never actually disappeared. He just changed.

identity

Dec 21, 2025

Reimagined Holidays

The holidays have always carried more emotion than celebration for me. Lately I’ve been figuring out how to rebuild them on my own terms, like finding new traditions, unexpected comforts and a little peace in a season that’s never been simple.

family

Dec 6, 2025

Behind the Harness & Sash: CLAW Leather Thanksgiving

Giving CLAW Leather Thanksgiving one final chance proved surprisingly reviving. I had a floor-13 reunion with friends and stood front and center in the official titleholder lineage photo.

leather

Dec 6, 2025

Behind the Harness & Sash: Recent Events

Taking stock of a busy fall as Mr. CMEN Leather, this entry dives into local LA competitions, Palm Springs Pride, and the importance of pacing yourself while deepening community connections.

leather

Nov 23, 2025

Not The Whole Story

Trying to pass my life off as “same old, same old” doesn’t hold up anymore. Somewhere between school pickup and stirring mac and cheese, I realized I’ve built a life that’s fuller, louder, and more mine than I’ve let myself admit.

creative process

Nov 15, 2025

Behind the Harness & Sash: Folsom Reflections

Navigating my first Folsom Street Fair as a titleholder meant trading late-night partying for pacing, meeting incredible community leaders, and learning to give myself permission to stand proudly in the spotlight.

leather

Oct 12, 2025

Over the Rainbow, Eventually

It took a few spins through the revolving door before I learned what it meant to step out for good. This is the story of how hiding became honesty, and how fear finally gave way to freedom.

identity

Oct 9, 2025

The Naked Truth, part 2

After years of near-misses, friendships and second chances, I finally stepped on stage as my authentic self, and walked away as Mr. CMEN Leather 2025. From pink harness callbacks to a leather corset surprise, this journey is about friendship, resilience and claiming my moment.

leather

Sep 2, 2025

The Naked Truth, part 1

In search of community, I found my way from NYC bars to L.A.’s Bullet Bar, and eventually onto the stage at Mr. CMEN Leather. What began with pride and arrogance ended in heartbreak, but it was the start of something bigger.

leather

Aug 30, 2025

Almost Enough

Running on little sleep and big dreams, I reflect on ambition, burnout, and the quiet grace of showing up imperfectly. Maybe I didn’t hit every goal, but maybe that’s exactly the point.

creative process

Aug 2, 2025

Back Again, Naturally

From DeadJournal to Tumblr to today, I’m returning to my blogging roots with No Reciprocation Necessary. This first post dives into my early days of oversharing, secret aliases, and soap fandom—and why I’m writing again, with heart and zero expectations.

writing

Jun 24, 2025

Paul Gosselin

Actor | Writer | Producer

No Reciprocation Necessary

identity

The Real Trick

Love, Loss, & What I Wore

Owning Where I Stand

The Intentional Shift

The Solo Addiction

The Power of Invisibility

Zero Proof

Reimagined Holidays

Behind the Harness & Sash: CLAW Leather Thanksgiving

Behind the Harness & Sash: Recent Events

Not The Whole Story

Behind the Harness & Sash: Folsom Reflections

Over the Rainbow, Eventually

The Naked Truth, part 2

The Naked Truth, part 1

Almost Enough

Back Again, Naturally