Love, Loss, & What I Wore

Jun 4

4 min read

Photos from the recent IMLBB weekend keep popping up on social media, and I’ve been fortunate enough to receive a few snaps from friends who were in attendance. I thought I would walk you through some of the outfits I put together, along with the significance I hoped they would bring. Let’s give this a little bit of Nora and Delia Ephron, with a little bit of Love, Loss and What I Wore.

Thursday: Orientation

Last year in the IML Vendor Mart, I bought two leather shirts on sale. This snakeskin button-up was one of them, and it’s become one of my favorite shirts to bring to any leather function. I paired it with my Mr. CMEN Leather Title Vest from Rough Trade Gear and a Tom of Finland tank top. And, of course, my vegan leather pants from the Gap. At the Leather Leadership Conference this year, I picked up this hanky pin holder from Kink on the Scene to finish it off. I had no idea the shirt was going to be such a hit, but I knew it was a keeper when one of the past IML winners leaned in to give me a hug and said, “I f***ing want that shirt!”

Thursday: Opening Ceremonies

I did a lot of shopping for IMLBB on my favorite website: Poshmark. You can find so many treasures there, including this incredible frock jacket. The seller used it for a Captain Jack Sparrow cosplay, but I knew after wearing it to the Fetish Formal Fête at Rough Trade last month that it had to come to Chicago with me. I paired it with my vegan leather pants and riding boots from the Gap, and a lace shirt from Timoteo. The number draw took place during this ceremony, so it felt like the perfect “first impression” look.

Friday: Physique & Stage Presence

I started the evening with leather pants I picked up at an Avatar Gear Swap event last October, along with a black-and-white uniform shirt from Northbound Leather that I found on Poshmark. The main event, however, saw my first custom piece from Ben Orson Leather. I brought them the idea of elevating a collared harness look I had worn during the Mr. CMEN Leather contest. I thought it would be fun to give a little wink to the “Playboy Bunny” aesthetic, as it serves as a nice companion piece to my interview look (more on that in a moment). The mini-skirt idea was something I’ve wanted for a while. I have a similar jockstrap/mini-skirt combo from The CD Brand, but I loved the idea of having this in leather and as two separate pieces. I have a feeling the mini-skirt will definitely find its way to San Francisco for Dore or Folsom.

I almost forgot the Lil Daddy hat!!! This was something I wore in my Mr. CMEN Leather competition and was a crowd favorite. I’ve worn it a few times throughout the year, but I saved it for this moment on stage. I thought nothing screams my personality more than this hat from Mr. She Leather.

Saturday: The Interview

My interview with the judges was the first thing Saturday morning, which was wonderful because all I had planned on wearing was this cute little robe, also made by Ben Orson Leather. I wish I had thought to take more pictures of this particular look, but I was in full interview mode, not thinking about photos. This was one of those moments where having a personal handler would have been great; someone to remind me to stop and snap a few shots.

Why a robe? When people find out that CMEN Leather is a nudist title, their first question is usually, “How can you be naked and still be a leather person?” Apologies to those who got my infamous eye roll in response. It’s quite simple, really. We contain multitudes. It’s the same as a drag queen also being a leather person, or a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, or a Trader Joe’s employee. We can be many things. “But how can you express yourself as a nudist and a leather person?” I’m glad you asked. Let me show you this amazing robe. The idea was to create a cover-up that I could actually wear during the CMEN West Coast gathering, something for when the temperature drops after the sun sets, or for when I’m having my morning coffee. The maroon matches the first leather jockstrap I bought at Rough Trade Gear and was a slight nod to Hugh Hefner’s smoking jacket. The sexual entertainment of Playboy was in the back of my mind while creating these. I wanted something that says Hollywood, something that says sexy, and something that is purely me, showcasing exactly how you can be a nudist and a leather person all at once.

Sunday: Leather Image

The final look, the one I brought to Ben Orson Leather and said, “I hope this is possible, because I’m in love with this idea…” At the first fitting, when the jacket was pulled out, I let out a literal gay gasp. It took my breath away. We put it on to check the measurements, and I could feel the tears welling up. The construction of the collar, the sleeves…oh my god, the leg-of-mutton sleeves. I learned that term specifically through this process. I brought them this idea of “80s Soap Opera Glamour,” and they delivered. There are official IMLBB photos out there of me in this outfit, but I also wore it to a mini-photo session with JBo Grey, who captured some amazing shots of me at MidAtlantic Leather Weekend. I know this jacket will be worn everywhere.

Monday: Podium Meet & Greet

In fact, I wore it the very next morning. I left it open and paired it with a pair of CellBlock13 saddle pants for an ultra-casual look.

It was and will always be a weekend to remember forever! So grateful for everyone who helped make this such an amazing experience. Especially to the friends and sponsors who helped get me to Chicago. This was definitely a community effort.