A Bold, New Side Quest
During my first round of therapy back in 2014, I talked about how I felt like I had ‘creative ADHD.’ It’s something I made up to explain why I felt like I had all these creative projects in my mind but couldn’t seem to focus on any of them, which inevitably meant I couldn’t finish any of them. I would start work on one thing, then feel I was neglecting a different project, then feel bad about not finishing either, and finally just curl up on the couch and watch TV, avoiding everything altogether. I’d end up watching the clock tick by until it was time for bed, retreating to the bedroom, and waking up the next day feeling like I’d wasted so much time.
“Maybe watching TV was working on something,” my therapist suggested, likely as a way to make me feel less like a failure and to help reshape the narrative I was telling myself. It’s possible. I did want to write scripts for a series I was thinking about creating, and watching TV could definitely be considered research in that regard. Eventually, I found a system that worked best for me: a way to organize the projects I was working on and prioritize them in a way that helped shape their outcomes and set me up for success.
Without even realizing it, I returned to this method during the third season of Misguided when I made it a point to focus on the task at hand. Over the years of working on that series, I’ve worn many, many hats. The thing is, you can truly only wear one hat at a time; sure, you could potentially double up if you need to, but the truth is, wearing one hat at a time is ideal. After a few years of producing Misguided, I was finally ready to apply that metaphor. When I was writing the season, I didn’t think about how much it would cost or who would play the new characters. When I was scouting locations, I wasn’t worried about memorizing lines. You get the point. I tend to do well when I focus on the task at hand and then move on to the next project.
Yes, I’m going to talk about IMLBB once again, but only briefly, so please bear with me. In August of 2025, I won my title as Mr. CMEN Leather and was heading to IMLBB over Memorial Day weekend. For a bit, this was really all I focused on. Yes, I was also in production on Misguided’s fourth season, and also started editing it during this time, but a lot of my energy went into figuring out what I would wear, say, and do throughout the IMLBB weekend. I knew the time would come, though, when the leather would be packed away and the weekend would be over, and I would find myself standing at a crossroads figuring out what exactly to do next. What project should I focus on next?
Earlier this year, I did an entry to take a personal inventory of my projects so that when this moment arrived, I would be able to look at the list and see what I’ve got happening and where I’m heading creatively.
But then that creative ADHD kicked in, and I found myself heading off on a quiet side quest I started a couple of months back. I came back from IMLBB, looked at the things I needed to do, the emails I’d put off, and the projects that had taken a backseat, and I got overwhelmed once again. I found myself curled up on the sofa watching TV.
The thing is, I’m not just watching TV this time around. I’m time traveling back to the late 80s and experiencing something I never thought I’d actually be able to. For their 39th season, The Bold & The Beautiful released their own streaming app that contains all of the show’s episodes. That’s over 9,000 episodes of television. The majority of these I never watched, having only started tuning in in the mid-90s and then falling off in the early 2000s, only to return a few years ago. I’m seeing characters I’ve gotten to know over the years: Brooke, Eric, Ridge, and learning the family backstories of the Logans and the Spencers. Within the first weeks of watching, it was funny to hear Ridge talk about his father’s retirement from Forrester Creations, a thing that is still being talked about 39 years later.
That’s one of the things I love so much about soaps: the longevity of their storytelling. This show started in March 1987 and is still on the air today, and it’s not even the longest-running show currently on the air. When Guiding Light went off the air in 2009, it had been broadcasting (on both radio and TV combined) for 72 years. It’s been quite a trip to take a walk down memory lane, seeing the origins of the series and knowing what the future holds for some of these characters. However, there are many things I don’t know, and I’m doing my best not to Google what happens next because that’s the joy of revisiting. I have no idea how the 1987 Bill Spencer (played by Jim Storm) is connected to the current-day Bill Spencer (played by Don Diamont). I could venture to guess it’s his son, and I’m sure that’s the case, so finding out how this all comes to be is exciting, especially since the 1987 Bill Spencer talks about how he only has his daughter, Caroline (played by Joanna Johnson). It’s as if I know the ending of a novel, and now I get to read it from the beginning to see how it all plays out.
When B&B debuted in March 1987, there were 10 other daytime dramas currently on air. I was curious to see what that landscape looked like, especially because I’m over 120 episodes into this side quest. I even had to break my “no Googling” rule to see if Joanna Johnson was nominated for a Daytime Emmy her first year out of the gate. Given that the 80s were such a massive, competitive landscape for daytime drama compared to the handful of shows we have today, it was slightly less shocking to discover she wasn’t nominated for her 1988 portrayal. I’m almost certain she would have at least earned a nomination (if not the win) had this performance aired today, given how much more concentrated the competition has become in our current, smaller daytime landscape.
As I continue on this side quest, figuring out what to do next, realigning my creative endeavors, and charting new projects, I’m happy to stop and revisit some old friends, see some incredible 80s fashion, and fall in love with everything that made me love the soap genre in the first place. The one thing that’s missing are the AOL chatrooms I used to visit to talk about the things I loved and didn’t love (or would improve upon, because I always tended to see the positive in the genre). So, if you’ll indulge me for a moment, after watching more than 100 episodes, here are some thoughts I have on this “new” soap opera, The Bold & The Beautiful:
Brooke’s original entrance: Chef’s kiss! I understood the appeal of Katherine Kelly Lang from that moment. Also it’s WILD to see Catherine Hickland temporarily step in to play Brooke while KKL was out sick.
The Katie connection: I mistakenly thought Katie Logan was a later addition to the canvas, so seeing her and Brooke as young, inseparable sisters sharing a bedroom hits me hard. Knowing how deep their bond started makes the epic fights they have today, the ones I’ve been watching with Heather Tom as Katie, that much more heartbreaking.
More Speedos, please: Why did we stop having men wear Speedos?
Margo (Lauren Koslow): I would have been equally obsessed with her if I had watched in real time, and I most likely would have followed her to her current role on Days of Our Lives. I can’t even imagine how different my life would be if I were obsessed with Days instead of Guiding Light.
The legacy: I love watching the credits and seeing names in the production that are currently still working on the show; Cynthia Popp and Christy Dooley were two names that stood out, and of course, Bill Bell, Jr.
The soundscape: We could do with a little less background music. There is an abundance of saxophone and maybe a clarinet or two too much, and sometimes I can’t even hear the actors.
The captions: Maybe current production should do a quick glance at the autogenerated captions in the app. I can handle “Ridge” being called “Rich”, but how dare they do this to my sweet baby Rocco!
I’m excited to see what the next hundred episodes bring. I’m itching with anticipation for the entrance of Darlene Conley. I apparently have two years to go for her arrival, but I’m happy to take my time getting there. It’s a comfort to know that even the most massive, enduring stories began with the simple decision to sit down and write one scene, and for now, I’m content to just keep watching the story unfold.
Comments