"Backlight" - The First Year
Over a decade ago, in October 2013, I performed for the second time in the storytelling show “Mortified.” I was debuting a piece inspired by the many letters I used to write to the powers that be over at my favorite soap opera, Guiding Light. Throughout the years, I’ve taken this particular story from coast to coast, telling it in over half a dozen cities. Each time, it strengthens the love I have for that soap, but also for the many amazing things the show (unbeknownst to anyone over at CBS or GL) brought into my life.
After that very first performance, I was approached by a former editor for HarperCollins who encouraged me to keep telling it. “It’s so fascinating,” they told me as we met for coffee in West Hollywood. With just a little bit of encouragement, I set off and wrote what was basically a stream-of-consciousness memoir. No outline, no purpose, just, here is my life, I hope you enjoy it. It was a fascinating exercise that eventually led me right into the office of a literary manager. I may not have known what I was doing, but I was at least getting in the room, which I guess is a win, right?
There in that room, in the most polite way possible, I was told that no one was going to buy my book because nobody knew who I was. The manager then told me something that I kind of already knew deep down, but needed to hear yet again: “If you want people to know you, you need to create content.” They said that with the power of YouTube and an iPhone, I could create a series, garner traction, and then quite possibly find people interested in reading this book.
I left the office on Doheny not feeling the slightest bit discouraged, but inspired with a new missive. I had a webseries in my back pocket that I’d written while living in New York City. I’d done a staged reading of the 13-episode season and really thought I could make the show work, but it definitely needed a refresh and an entire change of setting. I was living in LA now, and I didn’t see myself flying back to NYC to film a webseries anytime soon.
I wish I knew the exact moment the new idea came to me. All I remember is that I was in the middle of walking one of the many dogs I used to take care of daily in my early LA years. The old adage “write what you know” kept swirling around in my brain. I know soap operas, but not everyone knows soap operas, so it isn’t a universal story, I thought. Then Susan Lucci came to mind. She is a soap opera legend, a pop culture icon, universally known, and she was just marking a return to television in Devious Maids. I wondered if I could do something with Susan, or about Susan.
Then I started thinking about the movie My Date with Drew, which was about a guy documenting his 30-day quest to get a date with Drew Barrymore. What if I leaned into that “obsession” with Susan Lucci, made it episodic, but didn’t actually attempt to meet her? And just like that, this strange concept to bring myself to the Hollywood Walk of Fame and talk to Susan Lucci’s star became the central focus of the new series forming in my mind.
It took a full year of marinating, dog walking, and planning after that initial stage performance before we finally locked in our shooting dates for the fall of 2014. I got to work and put out a teaser for this new show I was going to make. I was, and still am, a firm believer that if I say I’m doing something, it’s going to happen. I don’t want people coming to me in a few years saying, “Remember when you said you were going to do that one thing? What happened?”
The teaser was created using real-life moments from my history. From the actual photo in my yearbook calling me “Mr. SoapStar” under a baby picture, to the moment I found out I booked my first soap opera gig (One Life to Live) in my manager’s office. The vlogs I used to document my cross-country trip, complete with the Susan Lucci All My Life audiobook I bought to listen to, and finally the very first photo I ever took at her Walk of Fame star. At this point, there was no script, no cast, and no real storyline, but with this little video, I had a new pursuit.
I gave the writing a shot and did the bare minimum. Let’s figure out who this character (me) knows and how he is going to fulfill his dream to be a soap opera star. Who would he encounter? His best friend (episode 1), a casting director (episode 2), a writer & producer (episode 3), and daytime actresses (episode 4). Because I wanted to make sure we could submit to the Indie Series Awards, and they had a minimum requirement of five episodes, I needed one more person Paul would encounter on his path to daytime stardom. And thus, Susan Coochie was born, giving the show an element of magical realism that lives within many soap opera worlds.
Season 1 would not have been possible without so many people. I didn’t fundraise, and pretty much everyone volunteered to help me bring this show to life. Between my friends from soaps: Stephanie, Missy, and Chrishell, to my Theater 68 friends, Ivet and Katy, and the most incredible DP, Robin, I’m not sure Misguided would have even taken off to become what it did. We did things with a crew of two, and sometimes a crew of just Robin, hauling gear across the city from West Hollywood over the hill to Sherman Oaks, and down to Cheviot Hills. You can even see her in front of the camera in Episode 2! She came on the ride for 16 episodes, and my heart bursts with joy knowing we created some incredible memories and magic together.
Season 1 also brought Chuck into my life, who played my love interest and was the first person I didn’t know personally cast in the project. When his resume came through and I saw all of the soap operas listed, he was an instant hire on the spot. We also had many of the same friends from New York who vouched for him, and I couldn’t have been more blessed with a stellar cast that season.
From a 12-minute story on stage came a journey to create a whole magical world where dreams come true. Looking back at those first five episodes, it’s incredible to see the growth the show undertook, but more on that later. For now, as we gear up for the launch of the fourth and final installment of Misguided, let’s take a look at how the story began.
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