"Backlight" - The Dream Year
I know that everyone says, “hindsight is 20/20,” and I know they are right. That’s why I wish I could go back to October 2015 and tell Producer Paul to slow down and cherish these moments. Soak up the experiences and hold on to his friends, old and new, a little tighter.
After those first five episodes were up, truthfully, I thought that was it. I figured I did the thing I set out to do, and now people would buy the book I wrote. What I didn’t anticipate were people not interested in the story I wrote, but rather the series I created.
The holiday season following the debut of Misguided, I found myself at former Young & Restless executive producer Maria Bell’s holiday party. Was I on the official invite list? Not at all. But my boss was, and she thought it would be a fantastic opportunity to network and start introducing the show to people who would appreciate it. She was right. However, she did assume it would be a larger gathering than the smaller, intimate affair it turned out to be.
It was there I chatted up soap opera writers who were genuinely intrigued by the show. I mixed and mingled with people working both in front of and behind the camera in the daytime world. While Days of Our Lives isn’t in my usual rotation of soaps, I am familiar with the key players, and it was at this exact party where I heard the origin story of Patch’s eye patch, directly from Stephen Nichols himself.
So, between the excitement from industry titans and the enthusiasm from people who tuned into those first five episodes... I figured, let’s give the people what they want and see what happens. What exactly was going to happen, however, was a complete mystery.
While those initial episodes dealt mainly with my character interacting with one other person, I wanted to spread my wings and build out the world a bit more. I wanted to lean heavily into the Guiding Light universe, giving characters names inspired by classic supercouple ‘ship’ names. Bloss, played by Crystal Hunt, was a mashup of Blake and Ross. Jeva, played by Jean Carol, combined Josh and Reva. I threw in a “Matessa” in an audition scene in Breeze’s office, nodding to Matt and Vanessa. “Mo,” short for Mom and played by Jackie Zeman, was a small nod to Maureen Bauer. And, of course, there was my season two love interest, Bauer McBride. I was all about packing this season with as many Guiding Light Easter eggs as I could.
I figured the best way to kick off the new episodes was to figure out who was on the phone when Paul woke up from his dream with Susan Coochie. In an original version of season one, there was a sixth episode where actress and producer Crystal Chappell called me to help create a new web soap, though IRL scheduling unfortunately didn’t work out. Crystal has been such a massive role model for creating digital series, especially after her wildly popular Venice: The Series and Beacon Hill. Moving forward, I knew I wanted Paul talking to someone who would eventually change his life.
If only I had journaled more during this time. It truly feels like a dream, and if it wasn’t for the actual footage we shot, I don’t know if I’d even believe it happened.
Once the season was written, I had to find the players. Stephanie and Ivet (who played Breeze) were game to return, as was Robin, our DP. I also knew I needed funding, so I started a Kickstarter, crossing my fingers that my years in non-profit development would pay off when it came to asking people for money. Having a bit of financial backing gave me the audacity to reach for the stars when casting.
I originally reached out to Jean Carol through a Facebook message, not knowing if it would ever reach her. I told her about the series, who was in it, a little bit about myself, and left my phone number. I honestly put it out of my mind, assuming nothing would come of it.
Then, I got a phone call from an unfamiliar number while walking a dog… coincidentally, the exact same dog I was walking when I first thought of the concept for Misguided. I answered, and the voice on the other end introduced themselves right away: “Paul, it’s Jean Carol...”
My heart began to beat just a little bit faster. We talked about the series and the characters I thought she’d be right for. I hadn’t cast Jeva or Mo yet, so I wanted to see what she gravitated toward. I emailed her the script that evening and received a thoughtful reply with questions about the future of the characters and her feelings toward each one. It was incredible to have someone I’d admired for so long take such a genuine interest in something I had created. Literally, pinch me. Am I dreaming?
Ultimately, Jean chose Jeva, and I started doing rewrites to make the character even more her, weaving in fun new lines that referenced her iconic Guiding Light character, Nadine.
With Jeva set, it was time to find my Mo. I emailed countless grand dames of daytime. I thought it was meant to be when The Talk hosted a Guiding Light reunion right around the time we were scheduled to film. Robin’s schedule meant we needed to shoot everything as close together as possible, meaning Mo would only need to be on set for two days—easy enough. Sadly, the Guiding Light actresses in town for the segment were unavailable, and the clock was ticking down to our Friday and Sunday shoot dates.
Finding a love interest proved just as challenging. In season one, I had a brief moment with Trevor (played by Chuck Saculla) and it turns out working on Let’s Make a Deal is a romantic dealbreaker! That whole idea came to me because the captain of my dodgeball team worked as a producer on the game show that took the place of my favorite sudser. For season two, I wanted a love interest who was more involved, someone where I could show some skin and make it feel truly soapy. Those casting emails are always a little more awkward to write. Thankfully, I discovered Chris, who would play Bauer McBride, while scrolling through every actor listed on the Guiding Light IMDb page. It also didn’t hurt that he was repped by the same agent as Jean Carol. It felt meant to be.
The cast was nearly assembled, except for Mo. We were less than a week out from filming. On a Tuesday morning, I sent a hail-mary email asking Deidre Hall’s agent if she might be available. (I would like it officially on record that I reached out to Deidre Hall to play my mom long before she played a different Paul’s mom on Hacks).
Sadly, Deidre wasn’t available, but in the most amazing move, her agent offered a counter: “Deidre is unavailable, but here’s information on Jackie Zeman, who’s been on General Hospital for 38 years.”
I almost felt silly for not thinking of Jackie right away. Because General Hospital wasn’t in my repertoire of soaps, she didn’t initially cross my mind, but I was deeply aware of who she was. I emailed right back: if Ms. Zeman was willing, I would love to have her on board. Contracts were signed and scripts sent with two days to spare.
When writing a season this short, I wanted it to build toward one major event. Having those two powerhouse women finally meet in Jeva’s office for the big reveal felt strong, but then I thought... What if we did one more episode revealing that this was all a dream? The vision for the hospital scene was to recreate one of the most dramatic deaths I had seen on Guiding Light. It wasn’t the death itself, but the impact: when Stephanie’s character (Tammy) died, her husband (and half-cousin) Jonathan (played by Tom Pelphrey) sobbed uncontrollably beside her, eventually jumping onto her hospital bed when she flatlined. I wanted that exact kind of messy, shattering moment when I flatlined in my own series. Having Stephanie be the one to jump onto my bed was just the icing on the cake.
Without getting too deep into the weeds of the rest of the season, I want to touch briefly on what happened after the episodes dropped. We received a wave of fresh press, thanks to Jean and Jackie joining the ensemble. Jackie was also the one who encouraged me to submit to the Daytime Emmys in their newly expanded digital drama categories. It was something I had hoped to do, but hearing Jackie validate the plan felt amazing.
After submitting, paying the fee, and crossing my fingers, I heard back from NATAS. Unfortunately, we were disqualified from competing because Misguided was apparently considered a comedy, making us ineligible for a Daytime Drama award.
I was devastated for a brief moment... until I realized: Wait, you think we’re funny? I’ll take that compliment.
I think that rejection added a little fire to my chest though. What do you mean, I’m too funny for Daytime? Well then. If it’s drama they want... drama they shall get…
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